So, most of you have probably heard that we are trying to get a group together to go as Vikings on Halloween. I have been a supporter of this idea for a number of months now, and figured that I needed to keep reminding everyone that they are going as a Viking for Halloween (whether they want to or not - what, did you think you had a choice? Oh...you did? What a sweet kid.) Otherwise, I will be the only one who shows up as a Viking and everyone will think I am supposed to be some sort of gigantic Gimli or something. Actually that would be sweet too.

There are a number of requirements that must be satisfied if we are going to pull this off the way I know we can:

1. Badass Names
Mine is 'Tor Doomhammer.' Another one I have heard being contemplated is Lothar Odinsson. There are some Viking Name Generators online. They aren't great, but it'd be a start. It's probably better if we made up our own, but whatever. Mine came off the bathroom wall the other night at that bar, so keep your eyes peeled. Especially when you have your fly down.

2. Weapons
This is key! You must have realistic looking weapons to carry around with you. I am talking swords (battle or decorative), long knives, long bows, battle axes, short axes, maces, warclubs, flails, spears, helmets (even horned ones, although the horned Viking helmet seems to be mostly myth), sheilds, and any one of the many other tools that Vikings used to enforce Viking justice on the pansy-ass Englishmen and other lily-livered weaklings.

3. ALongboat
This is really going to top off the whole 'going as Vikings' thing. We are going to craft a longboat out of cardboard, wire, wood, paint, blood, and rope. It will undoubtedly be the raddest thing this town has ever seen. We will tie it to trees and lock it with a bike lock so no one steals it when we are inside the bars imbibing and rabble rousing. Who is going to mess with a few dozen (yes, a few dozen...so get on board, you lazy ass) drunk Vikings (and Valkyries)...with weapons...and cell phones? Drunk chicks dressed as devils, angels, cats or nurses, that’s who. And we shall slay them all.

4. Lots of Alcohol
This shouldn't be a problem. Customized Viking steins are also a good idea. I am bringing a goblet.

5. Facial Hair
Mandatory for the men; optional for women. I will be accentuating mine with beads, shards of glass, a sprinkling of sand and steak sauce.

6. Garb
This should go without saying, but there can't be any name brand clothing or anything like that. Let's keep it authentic, people. Visit the thriftstores. Anything with hides and/or hair is good. Additionally, if anyone shows up in a Minnesota Vikings jersey in a half-assed attempt to be funny because they slacked and/or were too scared to put together a proper Viking costume, I will cut them in half with my sword. I am not kidding. It's a big one.

7. Horses (optional)
If anyone rides into Reef on horseback, I will shower then with congratulations, undying respect and beer, the likes of which the world has never seen before. And I'll pay for their bail and all of that too.

That's about it. It will be fun.