Here are some randomly generated explanations of what I am:
- VP of Haterade is a coffee cup that repels bees, can be used to deter muggers and mimics the movements of a lizard.
- VP of Haterade is a lunchbox that responds to ambient light changes!
- VP of Haterade is like a normal fax machine, but it runs on compressed air.
- VP of Haterade is a wafer-thin plastic sheet that sticks to the ceiling like a gecko!
- VP of Haterade is a human clone that can be implanted into the arm! It increases your sex appeal.
- VP of Haterade is a suppository that swears.
- VP of Haterade is like a normal gas-mask, but it contains alcohol.

Here are some randomly generated slogans for me:
- The Curiously Strong VP of Haterade.
- Come To Life. Come To VP of Haterade.
- Grab Life By The VP of Haterade.
- Splash VP of Haterade All Over.
- Vorsprung Durch VP of Haterade.
- Absolut VP of Haterade.
- A Finger of VP of Haterade is Just Enough to Give Your Kids a Treat.