Old people
So it's late. Something has been irking me all day. Actually it irks me everyday. Here goes...
What's the deal with old people walking? Every morning there is this exodus of geezers out walking (assumably after their 7:30 "lunch") in my neighborhood and every morning I have to drive past them. This is, without fail, the worst part of my day. I steer my vehicle to the other side of the street from where they are "walking" (does their speed really qualify as walking, by the way?), slow down to an absolute creep, and throw a friendly wave, all in order to not piss these oldies off. This never works. Day after day, you would think I was Dale Earnhardt Jr. buzzing their tower the way they react to my driving by them. They scramble over to the side of street, huddle together and stare me down. You would think I stole their last Werther's Original Buttery Sweet or something (and I would, by the way, but they don't know that). This happens every morning. What's the deal? It's like I have a history of running people's feet over, this reaction they give me. It's worst when I come up from behind them. I don't think they hear me coming and that is somehow my fault. As far as I can tell, I think they don't want me to pass them, at all. The stink eye me as I creep by. I wave, they mumble and drool. I guess they want me to get out of my car and push it silently by them, commenting on the weather while handing them fig newtons or something. If you don't like cars, get out of the road you idiots.
you know whats sooo great about this story?? is that it bugged you soooo much all day, and you couldn't take it anymore, so what better than to put it in a blog...well said and well done....
Posted by
Anonymous |
10:07 PM
i like old people. they pay bills and keep appointments. i also like that they develop cataracts in BOTH eyes that all me to get paid from the fed. government in order to recommend they are removed. Also old people keep the new blanace and hush puppy shoe company in business. Here's to the oldies but goodies...
Posted by
Anonymous |
1:25 PM
i disagree with james. old people suck. they have nothing else to do but complain about 5 cent increases on their annual insurance premium. or else they decide to annoy me on a daily basis by camping out in my office telling me about their retarded grandchildren or the price of gas.
Posted by
Anonymous |
5:03 PM
i do HATE old people who still think they can drive...but i like the banter back and forth....
Posted by
Anonymous |
5:57 PM
I think you know my stance on this topic. I guess I need to figure out a way to get paid from the federal government to remove their eyes, like James has. At least that is what I think he was trying to say. Come to think of it, that would solve the whole "stink eye" problem I have too... Hmm...
Posted by
VP of Haterade |
9:38 PM
All old peoples' eyes should be removed, just as a precaution, as soon as they turn 65: pop! pop! both out, done and dealt with. Then they wouldn't be able to walk, holding up/being scared by traffic; they wouldn't be able to drive, leaving their blinkers on and cruising at .026 MPH through intersections; they wouldn't be able to watch Matlock. Okay, that last one is kind of sad, but shit, they'd still be able to enjoy their goddamn Werthers. And that's all that they really fucking care about anyway, right?
--Erik
Posted by
Anonymous |
11:19 PM